FOCUS

Liberate yourself from the past.

I think the past can often define an individual. I am not saying that it should or that this statement applies to each and every single one of us but it is easy to let a moment, a person or a series of events hold you back.

I think as a sensitive and emotional person I am often pulled into the past – a flashback of thoughts or moments that cannot be changed. They often consume and drown me into a sea of sadness that is extremely hard to pull myself out of.

I find that getting caught up in things that you cannot change is often poisonous to the soul. The past is something that is solid, untouchable – a piece of time that cannot be changed (unless you are a time traveller and if you are can I please join you on some adventures).  If that is the case why do we often let these thoughts control us? Why do we often dwell on those moments, people and events that we cannot change?

I catch myself thinking about this quite frequently. If we all just lived in the present moment – the here and now – how would we feel? Whenever a friend is stressing or in need of some advice I always come back to this one statement, ‘in this moment, right now, what is there to be unhappy about?’ If you actually think about this statement in a very literal sense, most of the time you are in quite a healthy, happy space. As I sit here typing I am alone in my bedroom drinking wine and listening to tunes. There are so many elements of my past that I could be upset about and so many elements of my future that if I over analysed would cause me great anxiety. So if I focused on this exact moment what is there to be unhappy about? Absolutely nothing.

Often we are upset about things that have occurred or things that we think will occur, but never about the present moment. If I were crying right now it would not be about something that is happening, it would be about something that has occurred. Whether that be two minutes ago or two hours ago…. It is still in the past.

I guess what I am trying to say in this very long winded and possibly confusing rant is that I want you to focus on you. Not who you were or who you are going to be but you right now. Focus on that beautiful person right now because I can assure you that majority of the time this present being is happy, healthy and going to be alright.

So lets live in the present. Not the past, not the future but this gorgeous, special moment you are in right here, right now.

XOXO

Indoor plants are my everything

I love the visual affect greenery brings into a room. I currently have five various ferns scattered throughout my room with hope to keep adding and adding to the collection. Granted I have sourced specific plants that do not require much care as I am quite the forgetful gardener (sorry little ferns I promise I will water your fine selves tonight). 

I love the energy plants bring into a room. A fresh, open and outdoorsy feel to what would otherwise be a room containing four walls of plasterboard. They are vibrant and fresh (when I remember to water them) and add so much character to a space. 

I sound deeply in love with my plants, which isn’t far from the truth. My roommate caught me watering them in the shower the other day and singing to them as I did it. I won’t lie; I was having the time of my life.

I cannot see my obsession for indoor plants disappearing anytime soon, especially hanging plants. The more the merrier I say. So here is some interior porn containing oh so delicious indoor plants to get me through this very dull Friday afternoon. 

XOXO

Ride

I was in the winter of my life and the men I met along the road were my only summer. At night I fell asleep with visions of myself dancing and laughing and crying with them. Three years down the line...and my memories of them were the only things that sustained me. And my only real happy times. 

I was a singer. Not a very popular one.

I once had dreams of becoming a beautiful poet but upon an unfortunate series of events saw those dreams dashed and divided like a millions stars in the night sky. That I wished on over and over again, sparkling and broken.  Bit I really didn't mind because I knew that it takes getting everything you ever wanted and then losing it to know what true freedom is.

When the people I used to know found out what I had been doing, how I had been living, they asked me why… But there's no use in talking to people who have a home.  They have no idea what its like to seek safety in other people. For home to be wherever you lie your head. 

I was always an unusual girl. My mother told that I had a chameleon soul. No morel compass pointing me due north. No fixed personality 

Just an inner indecisiveness that was a wide and wavering as the ocean and if i said I didn't plan for it t turn out this way I'd be lying.

Because I was born to be the other woman.

Who belonged to no one.

Who belonged to everyone

who had nothing 

Who wanted everything 

With a fire for every experience and an obsession for freedom that terrified me to the point that I couldn't even talk about it and pushed me to a nomadic point of madness that both dazzled and dizzied me. 

- Lana Del Rey

Neverland

I want to explore every inch of this earth with you. With you my life is an adventure, with you my story is complete

Come into the treehouse, come and be with me

xx 

My mind works in riddle that I don't even know what to make sense of. The above sentences were what came to me when I wanted to write about how much love I have for the below tree houses. Who I am speaking about I do not know. All I know is that these tree houses are amazing and I hope to one day visit them all. Wanderlust baby.

Panic Chord

Carefree. Happy. Content. Peaceful. 

This is my life. 

There was a period not long ago when this was not so. I was an extremely lost, sad and negative person. I was not proud of the person I was and because I omitted these feelings out into the universe they were the exact vibes I got in return. I attracted people who treated me exactly how I treated myself. It was subconsciously a form of self punishment. A way of telling myself that all the negative things I felt about myself were true because someone else was reinforcing them. 

I became trapped in this world where I relied entirely on another persons opinions and feelings about me. He made me feel disgusting and I held onto that feeling with all that I had. I cherished that person who dragged me so far down that I couldn't see a way out. The kindest thing that person ever did for me was treating me so cruelly that I left. His one kindness was letting me go. 

No one ever saw the person that he was when he was with me. When I spoke of him I spoke of love, tenderness and empathy. What I felt was something extremely different. 

This man has recently been so cruel to two close friends of mine that I can no longer feel empathy or even pity towards him. He has prayed on the things that he thinks will hurt them the most. What he does not see if that he is losing every single person who tried so hard to care for him. Once a group of best friends is now nothing but a bitter aftertaste. 

It actually makes me so sad to see this person he has chosen to be. With so much potential for better, he has chosen a path I would not wish on many. When I expressed this to a dear friend of mine she put all the thoughts and feelings I had down on paper. She was the clarity I needed. To all in a similar situation here is what she said, I hope it helps you as much as it helped me. 

This to me is a clear indication of the person that he has always had the potential to be. He does not deserve your compassion through feeling sad for him at all. Sometimes it takes toxic people to ignite a certain side inside someone. Mind you he already exhibited many traits that he currently displays, he just tended to direct them at you. 

At the end of the day: every word and every action that boy has made or makes is his decision. He cannot excuse or blame anyone for any of it. People like him thrive off being held on some form of pedestal, whether it be an introverted friend or a loving/caring ex gf. They usually get there by manipulation and deceit. The best thing he ever did for you was let you be. 

I havent known you that long but i have seen growth and progression in you since he was out of the picture. Naturally you have things to heal from and become stronger from with time, as we all do after a toxic relationship. But just know that you are FAR better off without him and that EVERY person we meet that isnt good for us, is a lesson in what and who is worthy of our time and love. This allows to see the signs before we get involved and to avoid them like the plague, so as not to repeat history. 

The best advice I have would be truly forgive yourself for being with him and accept that he was a hard lesson to learn in what you do not want in a person. This is a crucial step in accepting that you are worthy of far more than you have convinced yourself you are. Only then will you draw the right kind of person into your life. 

CAKE FACE

I caught a taxi the other night and struck up a conversation with the lovely man driving the cab. We spoke for the 20 minutes it took to get me home. He spoke fondly of his wife and family, I spoke of my night and my plans for the weekend. Very casual, idle chit chat, but it was nice to connect with a complete stranger who you knew was a kind, generous soul. As I was hopping out of the taxi he said 'are you from here, Sydney I mean?'. I told him that I wasn't and he said 'I can tell, please don't let this place change you.' I walked the rest of the way home with his statement going round and round in my head.

I have always been one of those people who says good morning to every random stranger that walks past or is happy to strike up a conversation with anyone. Always happy to offer a helping hand or to meet new people. I found the taxi drivers comment distressing because it meant that to him, I was a minority. To him most people were the opposite, cold, distant and not eager to go out of their way to be kind. 

I felt so disheartened by this. Happy that he thought well of me, but disheartened that there were so many individuals out there who were the opposite. I was sad in human kind for the way we have become. That a simple small thing for someone is now viewed as a hassle; to be kind to a stranger is now few and far between. 

So when I went to coffee the other day I was so surprised when the waiter gave me free cake. The man had no hidden agenda it was just a beautiful sunday morning and he felt like being selfless and providing myself and my friend with cake. Immediately my spirits soared and my faith was once again restored in human kind. I know what you are probably thinking 'is this chick on crack, he gave her some cake' but it is about more than the cake. It is about doing a nice gesture that you as an individual gain nothing from. It is about being kind without receiving any benefits from your kindness. Instead of doing something out of selfishness this was an act purely out of compassion. 

To the man at the coffee shop you will never know just what that piece of cake meant. Other than it being absolutely delicious (summer bod you can wait) it showed me that there are still people out there willing to do things for others without benefit for themselves. Thanks Mr cake man.

XOXO