My journey with anxiety

During my teenage years I would suffer excruciating, chest tightening pains to the point that I would lose breathe, burst into tears and clutch at my heart area concerned that I was having a heart attack. After multiple doctors tests and days spent wearing machines that measured my heartbeat, all doctors could tell me was that I had an extremely slow heartbeat. Much to my dismay that solved none of the problems I was currently experiencing.

For the next few years I continued to suffer erratic chest pains. Doctors trialled me on medication, yet I would still continue to experience moments of uncontrollable panic, piercing pain and shortness of breath. I stopped telling my parents what was happening because I knew it would only worry them. I would erratically take my medication which was pointless in assisting anything and I felt like I was in a constant state of worry. 

I had seen so many medical professionals over the years who unfortunately couldn't get to the root of the problem, so I sought more holistic help. I sought help from a wellness professional. 

After a couple of episodes she sat me down and she asked me, 'are you a worrier? You mentioned that your Grandmother and your mother tend to worry, do you also?' Without a second thought I knew the answer was yes. I worried about absolutely everything.

She ran me through what she thought was happening. She explained to me that worrying can range in severity and what I was experiencing was anxiety. After much research it all made sense - the hot and cold flushes, the tightening of the chest, the snowballing of worries that quickly turned into an avalanche. At first it was hard to control. The panic would still come and go, but at least I knew why the pain was occurring. 

Eventually I developed steps and a routine that would assist with my anxiety. For any of my readers that may experience anxiety I thought it would be nice to share what worked for me. Although they may seem quite trivial and basic, it is often the simplest of tasks that make the biggest difference: 

-       Take time out

-       Breath deeply

-       Exercise daily

-       Sleep

-       Eat well

I have unfortunately run out of time and am rushing between jobs to get this up, so stay tuned as my next posts I will run you through exactly what I do to calm myself on a daily basis to get through moments of anxiety. 

For those of you out there not coping feel free to touch base, shoot me an email. I understand exactly how it feels and am always here to listen. In the meantime be calm, slow down your breathing and remember this too shall pass. 

Marlow Lou

xoxo

Journey to self love

Society has taught that worth is defined by wealth, status, beauty, sex and power. Without such things a person is made to feel worthless or less than those who do. When defined by such materialistic and vain barriers it can remove all forms of positive self-perception. If the mind begins to start filling the body and soul with negative self-talk and emotions, the body will begin to outwardly show those feelings. 

So hear this now. Vain, materialistic possessions and achievements will only bring temporary happiness. To achieve lifelong happiness - that must be found within. In order to achieve this, self-perception needs to be shifted and focused on the core nature of the being. Who am I? What makes me happy? How can I love myself? 

To begin this journey the most important thing is to start listening to your thoughts. Thoughts that are controlling, self-doubting or negative. Recognise when you are thinking a certain way and why. Instead of moving away from these thoughts and feelings try and understand them. Start to be aware of what the mind is doing through negative self-talk, self-abandonment, judgment, various addictions or coping mechanisms. 

When feeling this way there are two pathways that can be taken. The first is to protect against the pain and use negative coping mechanisms, such as addictive and controlling behaviour, to temporarily forget such thoughts. The second option is to understand these feelings. Learn why the mind is feeling this way, why it is reacting to a circumstance in this manner and why it seems to be causing pain? Whether it be pain through self-infliction or blame, understand why it is happening and how action can be taken to improve on the current, destructive methods being implemented. 

If the second option is taken on board (fingers crossed it is), know that these types of changes don't happen overnight. This will be a continuous journey of self- development, self-healing and positive thinking. It will be one of the hardest journey's to go on because it is challenging the way thoughts are processed and it is tackling a massive opponent. That opponent is the all-consuming, negative self.

After commitment, consistency and connection with oneself there will be change. A change for the better. A self-discovery that by loving yourself everything in your life improves. Relationships with others, outlooks on life, wellbeing and so much more. 

Love yourself for who you are right now! Every person is a constant work in progress so be present and enjoy the journey. Whilst loving who you are keep aiming to better yourself physically, mentally and emotionally to continue striving to be the best version of yourself possible. Create a passionate, fulfilled and joyful life, you won't regret it. 

Tips to takeaway

• Begin your day with love. Get out of bed and do something beneficial for your body. Go for a walk, drink a delicious cup of tea and just be at one with your mind. 
• Language is so important so talk yourself happy. Use affirmations to change your mind to become more positive
• Be honest. If you are feeling upset express it. Burying emotions and thoughts will fix nothing. Talking and resolving feelings will.
• Be patient. Changing years of negative emotions and self talk doesn't change overnight. Enjoy the journey and look forward to the result 
• Appreciate the small things
• Breathe
• Forgive yourself 
• Last but not least stop comparing yourself to others. You are beautiful just the way you are 

You&Me

~ Maybe the journey isn't so much about becoming anything. Maybe its about un-becoming everything that isn't really you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place ~

Unknown 

~ Like wildflowers; you must allow yourself to grow in all the places people thought you never would ~

E.V.

Outfit Details:

Jacket, slip dress and hat - Op Shop finds

Shoes - Diana Ferrari 

Photographer - H.Landford

FOCUS

Liberate yourself from the past.

I think the past can often define an individual. I am not saying that it should or that this statement applies to each and every single one of us but it is easy to let a moment, a person or a series of events hold you back.

I think as a sensitive and emotional person I am often pulled into the past – a flashback of thoughts or moments that cannot be changed. They often consume and drown me into a sea of sadness that is extremely hard to pull myself out of.

I find that getting caught up in things that you cannot change is often poisonous to the soul. The past is something that is solid, untouchable – a piece of time that cannot be changed (unless you are a time traveller and if you are can I please join you on some adventures).  If that is the case why do we often let these thoughts control us? Why do we often dwell on those moments, people and events that we cannot change?

I catch myself thinking about this quite frequently. If we all just lived in the present moment – the here and now – how would we feel? Whenever a friend is stressing or in need of some advice I always come back to this one statement, ‘in this moment, right now, what is there to be unhappy about?’ If you actually think about this statement in a very literal sense, most of the time you are in quite a healthy, happy space. As I sit here typing I am alone in my bedroom drinking wine and listening to tunes. There are so many elements of my past that I could be upset about and so many elements of my future that if I over analysed would cause me great anxiety. So if I focused on this exact moment what is there to be unhappy about? Absolutely nothing.

Often we are upset about things that have occurred or things that we think will occur, but never about the present moment. If I were crying right now it would not be about something that is happening, it would be about something that has occurred. Whether that be two minutes ago or two hours ago…. It is still in the past.

I guess what I am trying to say in this very long winded and possibly confusing rant is that I want you to focus on you. Not who you were or who you are going to be but you right now. Focus on that beautiful person right now because I can assure you that majority of the time this present being is happy, healthy and going to be alright.

So lets live in the present. Not the past, not the future but this gorgeous, special moment you are in right here, right now.

XOXO

Dreamer.Lover.Listener

I choose a life where I chase moments and not things. I am passionate about self-care, self-love, practising happiness, meditating, nourishing my body and being active. 

I do this for me.

Gifts are not material things but experiences and adventures that I will cherish for a lifetime. My life will not be a collection of Knick knacks, but a library of memories.

I am passionate about self-care and self-love as my body is the only vessel I have. Love it or hate it, this is who I am and what I look like. I choose to take self-care so that I can be at my healthiest at all times. I choose self-love because if I do not love myself how can I expect others to love me in return.

I say ‘practice happiness’ because it is not something that comes naturally. I practice happiness in moments of darkness and pain. Accepting negative circumstances, breathing them out and trying to make a positive of each circumstance.

I meditate for my mind. To reconnect with myself and my body.

I nourish my body with wholesome natural foods. The earth offers us so many wonderful nurturing products to sustain our bodies. I try and eat as much unmodified, organic fresh food as possible. The earth feeds us and when we die our bodies feed the earth. It is the circle of life.

I am active for my heart, body and mind. I will not let my own choices make me unhealthy – I strive on a daily basis to be the best, healthiest version of myself possible.

I do this for me. These are not rules or guidelines but my way of life.