I Am Water

I travelled for an hour to find myself on the outskirts of a forest. I walked aimlessly along a well travelled dirt road, over hills and across broken land until I stumbled across this sanctuary. I finally reached my destination and it felt like I had reached home. 

I stood on the edge of a rock cliff looking down on the cascading waterfall. The large pool of water called to me as it has always done. From my earliest memories I can remember feeling a strong connection with water; so fluid, so strong, so powerful. 

I have a great fear of shallow living but a great depth and desire to be more than what I am. Like water I am a contradiction of so many things. Water can move mountains but it can also destroy cities. Its beautiful but terrifying, strong yet fluid, it can cleanse life yet so easily take life. 

I am a water being, I feel connected to myself and to mother earth when I am embodied in the element of water. I close my eyes and I float, my body is weightless, my mind is clear and I am home. 

LOVE YOURSELF

You were born to be real, not to be perfect. 

I was recently reading a transcript by Tal Ben-Shahar where he discussed the concept of perfectionism. He discussed two types of perfectionism. Firstly adaptive perfectionism, which is a healthy form of perfectionism where you strive for higher and higher standards. It is about working hard, making sure things are done well and acknowledging those achievements. The second type of perfectionism is maladaptive perfectionism; what Ben-Shahar described as unhealthy perfectionism. A form of perfection that rejects success,failure and painful emotions. "It is a fear of failure that is debilitating, and a fear of failure that doesn't allow us to try, to take risks, to explore, to meander" 

I have always associated myself as a perfectionist. A person who has always strived to do better and to be better. Unfortunately it didn't matter how well I was doing in my studies, professional life, personal life even in something as vain as my appearance - I was never good enough.  After reading Ben-Shahar's transcript I could finally relate to how I was feeling and it was this concept of maladaptive perfectionism. 

I have always felt this need to reach a perfect standard, but what is a perfect standard? Who defines when that perfect standard has been reached? There is no such definition and therefore it is an unattainable goal. Subconsciously knowing this I limit myself to certain things. I get extreme anxiety if I have to try something new or do something in front of someone with the fear that I may not be good at it. The fear that I may not be good enough. After reading the transcript I think a lightbulb went off in my head telling me that if I continue down this path I wont reach happiness or 'perfection', I will ultimately be doing the complete opposite. 

I agree with Ben Shahar when he said "If we want to live a good life, we first have to accept reality. Reality that constitutes failures and successes, emotional lows and everything in-between, and when we accept reality, when we accept nature for what it is, that's when we enjoy higher levels of motivation, happiness, and in the long term, success." 

Just a thought

XOXO 

On a side note - One of my all time favourite things in life are chickpeas! You can only imagine my pure enthusiasm/joy/scream at the top of my lungs excitement when I found a kilo tin of chickpeas on the side of the road. Don't worry I didn't eat them, but just to know that a kilo tin of chickpeas exists makes me oh so happy. 

CAKE FACE

I caught a taxi the other night and struck up a conversation with the lovely man driving the cab. We spoke for the 20 minutes it took to get me home. He spoke fondly of his wife and family, I spoke of my night and my plans for the weekend. Very casual, idle chit chat, but it was nice to connect with a complete stranger who you knew was a kind, generous soul. As I was hopping out of the taxi he said 'are you from here, Sydney I mean?'. I told him that I wasn't and he said 'I can tell, please don't let this place change you.' I walked the rest of the way home with his statement going round and round in my head.

I have always been one of those people who says good morning to every random stranger that walks past or is happy to strike up a conversation with anyone. Always happy to offer a helping hand or to meet new people. I found the taxi drivers comment distressing because it meant that to him, I was a minority. To him most people were the opposite, cold, distant and not eager to go out of their way to be kind. 

I felt so disheartened by this. Happy that he thought well of me, but disheartened that there were so many individuals out there who were the opposite. I was sad in human kind for the way we have become. That a simple small thing for someone is now viewed as a hassle; to be kind to a stranger is now few and far between. 

So when I went to coffee the other day I was so surprised when the waiter gave me free cake. The man had no hidden agenda it was just a beautiful sunday morning and he felt like being selfless and providing myself and my friend with cake. Immediately my spirits soared and my faith was once again restored in human kind. I know what you are probably thinking 'is this chick on crack, he gave her some cake' but it is about more than the cake. It is about doing a nice gesture that you as an individual gain nothing from. It is about being kind without receiving any benefits from your kindness. Instead of doing something out of selfishness this was an act purely out of compassion. 

To the man at the coffee shop you will never know just what that piece of cake meant. Other than it being absolutely delicious (summer bod you can wait) it showed me that there are still people out there willing to do things for others without benefit for themselves. Thanks Mr cake man.

XOXO

Once upon a dream

Pictures sourced from - Loni Jane, She Designs, Tuula, ellybrown,skinny sticks,theyallhateus,kate the great, and instagram