We have all watched movies about extraordinary everlasting
love that is never tainted, questioned or forgotten. I would love to be an
optimist and say that this is true, that love like this does exist. Maybe it
does, who am I to say it doesn’t but I myself am yet to experience such
beautiful, unforsaken adulation from another person.
In my experience love is never that simple. I think as
individuals we are all caught up in this concept of conditional love, a selfish
love that is filled with attachments and needs. When you meet someone you are
drawn to them because they meet your needs – these needs soon become strings of
attachment to our affection. We may or may not realize this at the time but
that person provides something for us, whether they make you feel good, they
fill a void of loneliness or even something as vain as ‘they look good’ - there
always seems to be a selfish need of fulfilment.
I believe that love should be built around happiness,
acceptance and openness. Once the waves of lust wear thinner and thinner (I
refuse to let this happen, let’s keep up the sex life spice ladies) all you
have left is the deep core of someone. They are no longer masked with this
feeling of ‘lust’ that very often gets confused with ‘love’. It purely comes
down to them and you. When I love someone all I want is for them to be happy. I
want this happiness to occur without any strings attached, without expectations
of what they can do for me or what I can do for them; just pure and simple
happiness. You will never completely like everything about someone, and vice
versa, but you accept and enjoy those differences. To use a famous quote ‘the
greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return’.
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