Friday, 27 November 2015

Wedding Cake Rock

Damsels in distress , giants on machinery zooming through the forest and a cliff face of death… this was my Saturday. Ok, ok it is slightly exaggerated but what was supposed to be a casual bush walk with friends turned into one massive, exhilarating and exciting adventure.

We began our walk in the Royal National Park to Wedding Cake Rock early Saturday morning; me and three friends. My friends slowly trudged their way along the path, making their way slowly to what would soon be our destination. Not me, I was on an adventure. I wanted to walk fast, get to Wedding Cake Rock as soon as possible and experience the wanders that this National Park had to offer. Needless to say I separated from the pack and raced ahead.

Stupidly only one of us had a working phone and knew the way to get to the rock – obviously this person was not me. So after approximately half an hour of me walking on my own I reached a fork in the road. I look left there is not a soul in site. I look right and I see one person on the horizon, so I turn right.

I stride ahead confident in my decision. After a period of time with only the company of dead shrubbery and the whispers of bush animals do I start to think to myself, am I lost? I have probably walked approximately 3-4km and should probably have reached my destination by now. As I continue walking ahead I finally come across human life. Two large gentlemen kitted out in motorcycle gear with large spears strapped to their backs. In my head I am thinking, don’t look at them, say hello and just move forward. As I move past them I finally notice that I have reached the end of the road. The end of the road being absolutely nothing. I have obviously gone the wrong way.

Kindly, one of the gentleman - we shall name him Adam - asks me if I am ok. To put this into perspective Adam is probably about 6’8’ tall and is a very solid man, not intimidating in the slightest (insert sarcasm). I toss up whether or not to lie or to tell the truth. Generally I would say don’t talk to strangers but alas I was in a bit of pickle and they looked like I could outrun them if things turned sour. I told them where I was supposed to be and they politely informed me that my destination was a whole other hike in the complete opposite direction. Looking like a lost sheep I think Adam and his friend Sean took pity on me.

“Well I guess we are going to have to give you a lift then?” My first thought went straight to my mum and I blurted something along the lines of ‘oh god my mother is going to kill me.’ Ha classic. It took a solid ten minutes of them trying to convince me but eventually I was swayed. With nothing but one of their helmets on my head and a firm grip around Adams waist I was on the back of a motorcycle racing through the bush.

I am going to let you in on a little secret, when a man riding a motorbike says that he will take it easy he is lying. We flew over, puddles, through sand and mud to get to my destination and I was shitting myself the entire time (not literally, I have better bowel control than that). Half way through this ‘joy ride’ he yells out to me in his deep Scottish accent, “you aren’t a lawyer are ya love?” “No I’m not, why do you ask?” “Just in case I actually do crash this bike I wanted to make sure you weren’t a lawyer first”…. Thank you Adam, that is very reassuring whilst I am already on the moving bike.

Finally I see some speckles on the path in-front. I recognise my number one lady ahead and I start screaming her name. Joyous to share my adventure with her and also so excited that I have not died. She turns around and is probably blindsided by the mass of man coming straight towards her on deadly motorbikes, so I pop my head to the side hoping she will catch a glimpse of my mop under my helmet. As soon as she sees me her body slightly crumbles into a fit of giggles. When I asked her what she was thinking she just said that she was not surprised in the slightest that this type of thing happened to me.

My knights in shining armour dropped me at Wedding Cake Rock and my body was safely back on safe ground. Wedding Cake Rock was beautiful and I thoroughly enjoyed the view, but I think my Mad Max esque adventure was the cherry on top.

My knights in shiny armour in all there glory... Told you I wasnt joking about the spears and the very tall man.

My girlfriend fantasised of a romance between me and my knight.... this was her oh so subtle hint. Smooth. 

And what is a Marlow Lou post without a few terribly unattractive but completely natural photos. Shakas braaaaaaa

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