You felt powerful praying on the weaknesses of others. It made you feel better to see others suffer. You may not realise or recognise it, but that is what you wanted. It made you feel strong, wanted and in control when others needed you. It was easy to blame the weaknesses of others for your problems, you relished in the fact, belittling them with a smile and a warm embrace. You didn’t want love, you didn’t want joy, or happiness, but you wanted to feel needed.
You would drag that person until there was no flesh left, just a skeleton of broken bones. But you, nothing could penetrate you. Not the flesh torn from the bones, or the crumbling soul of those you tried so hard to destroy. You say you felt nothing. You felt everything so much so that it scared you. You took out this fear on those who cared about you. In the end it was not those who you hurt that were left with nothing, it was you. Emotionless, soulless and alone.
Power can either lift people up to do good or smother the person in its power. You are smothered. To you power was a game but people are sick of your game. Their bodies rejuvenate and start to slowly rebuild, whilst you will still be toying with people, pretending you once cared, they are growing. Not in power but in love, compassion and kindness.
Be powerful for the right reasons, be strong within yourself and never stop growing and bettering yourself. A person can only make you feel what you let them. No one can have power of you unless you allow it to happen.
Don’t wait around hoping someone will change, better yet if they want to change you, give them a smile and walk away. You are amazing just the way you are. I don’t care if you don’t know who that is right now; you are on a journey of self discovery that will mould you, and you right now is pretty fucking fantastic.