We have all watched movies about extraordinary everlasting love that is never tainted, questioned or forgotten. I would love to be an optimist and say that this is true, that love like this does exist. Maybe it does, who am I to say it doesn’t but I myself am yet to experience such beautiful, unforsaken adulation from another person.
In my experience love is never that simple. I think as individuals we are all caught up in this concept of conditional love, a selfish love that is filled with attachments and needs. When you meet someone you are drawn to them because they meet your needs – these needs soon become strings of attachment to our affection. We may or may not realize this at the time but that person provides something for us, whether they make you feel good, they fill a void of loneliness or even something as vain as ‘they look good’ - there always seems to be a selfish need of fulfilment.
I believe that love should be built around happiness, acceptance and openness. Once the waves of lust wear thinner and thinner (I refuse to let this happen, let’s keep up the sex life spice ladies) all you have left is the deep core of someone. They are no longer masked with this feeling of ‘lust’ that very often gets confused with ‘love’. It purely comes down to them and you. When I love someone all I want is for them to be happy. I want this happiness to occur without any strings attached, without expectations of what they can do for me or what I can do for them; just pure and simple happiness. You will never completely like everything about someone, and vice versa, but you accept and enjoy those differences. To use a famous quote ‘the greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return’.